I'm finding it strange that those words even apply to me...but I guess at 39 there's no way I can deny that I'm practically MIDDLE-AGED now. So how can it be that I am still trying to decide what to do with my life? Up until now, I haven't exactly been slacking my life away--I've been raising a family, I've worked in several successful jobs, I've served successfully as PTA President and Primary President as well as countless other projects and daily activities--all things I've enjoyed and felt good about doing. But I am feeling more and more, lately, that there is an important, unknown path that I need to take.
I am not sure, but I have been thinking a lot about going back to school--either to become a teacher or a school counselor. Both of these would be a LOT of work and I don't even want to think about the cost (no Pell Grants for post-grad work)--but as I've started my new job at the Intermediate school, I walk down the halls and see the teachers with their classes and I am convinced that I would be happy doing the same thing...or maybe just that I could be doing MORE than what I am now...whatever that might be.
I don't really know why when you reach a certain point in life that you start worrying about fulfillment and unrealized potential, but I guess I'm not above the cliche. It seems to me that I have made so many plans and maybe I'm running out of time. I guess it makes you want to go out and do something crazy...just to know you can.
Anyway, I don't mean to be so maudlin! I'm basically just thinking out loud...wondering what to do...and trying to organize my thoughts. It's so hard to know what the best thing for me and my family might be. I can guarantee that I'll be praying for some insight and guidance with these possible life changing decisions. It's actually kind of exciting to think what might be around the corner...but I guess that's what makes a good midlife crisis, right?